Last weekend I was in Puerto Rico coordinating business I’ve established there. You may (I hope) have noticed that I didn’t write, and that wasn’t the first time that la isla de me encanta distracted me from my weekly dedication to this #AdamsWorld mission. … Puerto Rico does that to me, and I am totally fine with it. It recharges and refreshes my soul. But it’s more than just an island vacation-like vibe (See my post, Island Time for more on that). Something happens shortly after landing, at this particular vantage point along the road from the airport, a view celebrating the vastness of the ocean. I don’t quite know how to describe it, it’s not just emotional, but physically detectable, where I actually feel my heart opening as wide as the ocean in front of me.
I came back to NY on Tuesday. Upon landing, I saw a headline on my phone of the school shooting in Texas, but it was only a peripheral awareness that registered amidst the unloading, debarkment, and focused scurry to the rental pickup spot. It’s a sad statement on me, on our times, that such horror somehow barely resonated…
In the car in traffic driving from the airport, I found myself tuned into my energy inside and surrounding and how heavy it felt after my time in PR, comparable to a thick humid day, but in my interior psyche. I decided as we moved slowly towards home that I was going to attempt to stay aware and conscious of the energy within, around, and emanating from me for the rest of the week.
And I have. It’s been interesting, and honestly, both powerful and empowering. I could go on thousands of words describing how different my week was. How frequently I found myself conscious of, then working with, auras I didn’t want to host. I think a diary of the week, had I kept one, could be a life-changing book in itself. But, it was a conversation in the car the next day with my 15-year-old, where I realized how important this awareness – and work – is … not just for me, but for all of us, kids and adults alike, in this world we are in right now.
I picked him up early from school on Wednesday, the day after the shooting, for a doctor’s appointment. “Oh man, I can’t stand to be in school anymore.” He said as we pulled away from our pickup spot. “I just wish it would just be over. I feel like I’m on edge the whole day. Waiting for something bad to happen. My teachers were locking the doors. I hate being there. It’s so bad. It just feels like it’s getting closer…”
I noticed my own energy become closed and protective. I felt a sensation of heaviness behind my eyes and in my throat, and heavy, constrained, tightness around my heart. … On the way home after the appointment, he told me that a previously scheduled day off next week was now an in-school day due to the cancellation of the NYS American History Exam. I asked why, and he explained that it was related to the mass shooting in Buffalo and the sensitivity of the racial content within the exam.
“Mom, did you know that the guy who shot them all had his phone and was streaming it all live as he killed those people? They took it down, but it was too late, and it was all over all of the social media places for days.” He shared.
“Oh G-d. That’s horrible. What a damaged world. Your generation has so much to deal with with these stupid phones.” I didn’t want to ask him if he saw it. I didn’t want to know.
But he went on… “I wish I could go back. It’s horrible. How can a person be so evil? To do that to actual people. It’s so disgusting. It was the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen. So disturbing. I don’t want that in my head…” He’d seen it on a kid’s phone in a group while sitting in the cafeteria. … Teenagers hanging out at lunch on their phones.
Ugh, I was so downhearted. …“I’m so sorry you saw that. I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry for this world you are living in. It’s so bad. I wish I could just take you out of this and bring you to Puerto Rico. It’s just different there.
“I know, me too. You’re right, Mom. The energy is so different there.”
What do we do with this?
Is there some way to filter this encompassing toxic emotional air we’re all breathing? Some way we can save our youth from their phones, or help them to save themselves? Can we tune into and change our own frequencies and facilitate their power to change theirs? Can we bring back their Hope?
…. Is it simply up to them?
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4 thoughts on “✴️ Elevating the Frequency”
Im so terribly sorry for the children who are going to school in fear and with such unfathomable images in their minds. I think an important point is missing, it is the proliferation of guns causing these heinous incidents. Other children around the world are not victims of such assaults. The conversation needs to be had because we can’t protect them from guns or phones. It took a lot of prayer and meditation the last two weeks after Buffalo and Uvalde and it will be required to keep going and not give up on fighting for change in our gun laws. This is not politics it’s common sense to save our society from weapons of war in the hands of troubled eighteen year olds or anyone who is unstable. I just felt in the post today the phone is not to blame.
Coming from a space of pure energy, at sunset, the beach, the mountains or the jungle and returning to the news was a shock to the system, our psyches, our thoughts, worried for the teenagers and worried for the little ones. So many focusing on common sense gun laws, so many of us focusing on mental health, I remember Columbine, we were shocked, and then I saw the grief of colleagues at each anniversary of Sandy Hook, seeing the pain turn to courage for the survivors of Parkland and now, the violent hate repeats and repeats and repeats.
I am reminded of my favorite meditation in the Shabbat morning service ….”Pray as if everything depended upon G-d and act as if everything depended upon you.” If not now, when?
Thank you for the beautiful words. My heart is hurting.
Thank you for this beautiful share. We too know gun violence personally. My daughter-in-law was shot in the face in a car jacking. How did she survive this evil ? She forgave them. Something I always think about. 💕
Forgiveness is an answer for some…but how do we forgive ourselves for the unimaginable hurt we cannot alleviate in ourselves, our children, grandchildren, family and friends. Where is God in all of this hatred and pain? Perhaps, that is the answer. I find myself clinging to prayer for myself and loved ones. Letting go of what we cannot change is difficult. Perhaps, returning to 12 Step spirituality can help, because we need to feel the Love of God in our lives…One step at a time. Thank you for sharing. We are all “ONE.”
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