Blessed Bane

Last week, I was an invited guest speaker about my book, Not to Spoil the Ending… but everything is going to be ok, as the culmination of a collective parish read for Lent. The unexpectedly large and enthusiastic turnout on a cold weeknight and powerful interactive dialogue was unexpectedly affirming in itself, but even I, proud and adoring mom, was surprised by the expressed impact of Adam’s story, his personal example in his lived actions, and his eternal spirit and presence felt among this group of people, most of whom never even knew or met him. “Your son’s made me a better person,” was repeated several times as folks came up to have me sign their copy after. … But there was one comment in particular, made during the whole group interaction, that really struck a chord in my heart and ended up preoccupying the martini post reflection at my kitchen table at home after.

“Your son’s death made so many people better. It made you a better person. It made your family better. It made so many of those kids better humans. His untimely death actually made the world a better place.”

While it’s certainly an idea threading my book, and admittedly kind of how I see my life since, and, well yea, it’s there in so many ways … Until she said it out loud, it was somehow only subtly obvious (if that’s oxymoronically possible), and honestly, nothing I’d ever heard expressed quite so blatantly and concretely. … My worst curse, deepest insult … and rainbows and unicorns. … I sat way past my typical bedtime thinking about it, hesitant and somewhat disinclined. …

Of course, if I needed clarity or reinforcement, Adam was on it. The very next day, out of the blue, I got this text …

Can’t help but wonder where I would be without Adam, I turn 21 in two days so many lessons learned and things achieved within the span of 15-21 meeting you was one of the biggest things that could’ve happened I couldn’t imagine life without your guidance towards our group of friends I don’t know what we would’ve done. 

And without even being conscious of the book group comment or my reflective reluctance after, the text thread conversation that followed completely rejuvenated my #AdamsWorld “it’s all good” allegiance…

Wow Mike. You always make my heart lift right up. Spin upside down and all over the place. And then land fuller and bursting. 

Thank you but without you I wouldn’t try my hardest to achieve goals and work towards getting the story of Adam out there 

can’t imagine where any of us would be without Adam these last five years. How much he’s impacted our lives and made us better and happier. And… Go figure he’s the dead one…

It’s weird even though he is gone the messages he sends are so big and at some of the weirdest times. I see some in my dreams and some in the sunsets, the rain and nature through life lessons I hear throughout my mind the reminder to smile and take it in I can tell it’s him 

I tell my mother all the time, I don’t know what it is maybe he’s talking to me and telling me to just be me and not hear all the other bs that goes on …

He’s definitely taught me to chill, “stop ackin all tight”, and laugh and smile more.

Haha the best comments were the ackin all tight ones he always knew how to set someone straight, he truly was a person I see that reflects my daily thinking 

He certainly seems to have better insights about living well and happy and real

is the tree at the highschool going to be blossoming soon?

Any day! Big happy and pink!

Can’t wait to see it when I get back!

Spring pink goes fast. So I’ll send a picture just in case!

Okay please do that’ll make my day!

Yes. Ok Adam, I’m in!! Even if it’s not quite how I would’ve planned it … the world is really better …. Thank you for being wonderful, and now truly angelic, you! 💜

Did you enjoy today’s post? You’ll love Naomi’s book! Check it out here!

7 thoughts on “Blessed Bane

  1. “I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, the World would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, patience, love, understanding, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.”
    Thank you, Naomi for reminding all of us how you continue to impart wisdom and comfort.🙏😇

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, thanks very much to you and everyone involved, Naomi, I continue to experience the positive attitude-changing/internal dialogue influence of “finding adam’s world” because those two things keep happening, which reinforces for me that Adam’s physical body has died but his loving soul/his spirit continues to intercede with God for us, so we see things in nature, people and situations around us, opportunities that help us turn to God more intentionally, seeking his friendship, counting on the ever-present help to nurture that friendship and cooperate with the grace to build on it in concrete ways, with the people around us each day‼️🤗🤗❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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