Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and to commemorate “Love” I’m sharing something cool I’ve discovered about living from my heart.
Several years ago, I decided to take up the practice of meditation. In the beginning (occasionally still), it seemed a perpetual struggle to quiet my busy brain. But I established a habit and persisted, and pretty much every day on my way to work, I’d stop at a church near my office and sit for 20 minutes, attempting to empty my mind and connect with my Divine Source. My life’s tragedies ended up derailing my practice, but around two years after Adam died, during Covid shutdowns, I returned to it, and it’s changed my life. … but not back to any kind of “pre-Adam normal;” the Peace and Joy that I’ve gained touch with is something completely new.
Around a year ago, I explained it to a friend who asked, “I’ve learned to live in my heart rather than my head,” I shared. Admittedly, if someone said something like that to me, I’d roll my eyes, at least in my head. So let me explain before you just assume I’m flighty.
I guess the best way to articulate it is that I’ve gained awareness of a “me” that is more than just what’s in my head, something deeper and more real. I felt it the first time when I was praying one day and noticed a stillness in my heart connecting to Who I was praying to. The experience in that connection was more moving and powerful than the words, and often empty reciting, I was more accustomed to.
And there’s more. I began to notice…
When living from my head, scripts play in the background, what I could have said to win an argument, or put someone in their place. I’m more likely to find myself judging, protecting myself, experiencing “us” and “them.”… Whereas, if I’m living from my heart, I’m more aware and connected to the humanness of the other person, inclined to greater acceptance and love. If someone gets on my nerves or causes offense, I’m likely to start with healthy boundaries, rather than just go right to “dead to me.”
When living from my head, I’ll compare myself to others and approach life from a place of scarcity. I need more (whatever it might be, attention, candy, the dessert, salary, etc.). I see myself in comparison to others. But when living from my heart, life happens from a perspective of abundance, there’s plenty to go around. I’m less anxious about storing up and more inclined towards generosity. My head is prone to competition, while my heart inspires compassion.
When living from my head, I’m focused on my singular individuality. “I think therefore I am,” separate from others. But when living in my heart, I recognize an underlying universal energy, within myself and connected to everyone and everything. My head is egoic, prompting an impulsive need to interject my opinions, barely listening to the other side of the conversation; while my heart detects our shared humanity making me interested in knowing the person I’m with.
When I’m in my head, I worry, anxious about my kids and their futures, messes they leave, mistakes… My heart notices the curls or beautiful smile, the garbage that the dog got into that’s picked up without my even asking, the way they are kind to people who are different, their love for me and each other, these “great treasures I birthed” … my love overflows!
My head focuses on needs and wants, while my heart notices and is grateful for what’s right here in front of me. My head lives in a state of urgency… in my heart there is rest. My head uses words to detail an experience, while my heart feels essence and energy.
My head is prone to anxiety… When I’m wide awake in the middle of the night, I’m anxious about being tired the next morning. My heart generates peace … even my sleeplessness is appreciated for it’s rare gift of quiet.
Even in meditation, my head feels a responsibility to get it right, or it becomes an obligation, there’s a need to remember all the amazing practices I’ve read or learned about, I’m disappointed in myself when I can’t quiet my brain. But when I stay connected to my heart there is a welcomed sense of dependency. I’m easier on myself and can accept whatever the experience is – nirvana or noisy brain – as good, simply for the fact that it is what it is.
Happy Valentine’s Day! May your day and all of the motions be felt from the heart!
I would be so grateful if you would help spread the Adamsworld word! If you enjoyed today’s post please forward it on to others. And if you’ve read the book, please leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, or wherever you purchased it!
I’ll be chillin’ in Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 next week, so no post… See ya in two! 🌴
In my absence, why not inspire yourself or a loved one with a copy of “Not to Spoil the Ending… but everything is going to be ok”. Get it here!